Take 2012 One Day at a Time

While the focus of this book is to celebrate the new opportunities divorce brings, I can’t show how far we’ve all come without reflecting on all we went through in our marriages. I’ve spent today, the first day of 2012, working on one of the most emotional chapters for me- all of the reasons that led to my divorce and all the details of the break-up. This included going back and watching the DVD of my wedding. Since I have happily moved on from my “learning experience” as I like to call it, I didn’t expect to be hit with such emotion while viewing this footage. However, I literally had to skip over parts as tears formed in my eyes. My mission was to get to the very end of the DVD, where my then husband and I said our parting words to each other. His ironically began with “I never wanted this…,” and I want to note that in the book.

As I write, I listen to music. Oddly enough, wearing headphones and blasting my favorite songs helps me block out everything around me. One of the songs that came on today was “Take Tomorrow (One Day at a Time)” by Butch Walker. The song seemed very fitting and I wanted to share because I think it can apply to a lot of us and it’s very appropriate as 2012 has just graced us with its presence.

Lyrics:

“Take Tomorrow (One Day At A Time)”

You got lost, For a while.
You’ve been trying to find a smile.
You got stood up, then you fell down,
and when you needed , there was no one ’round.
You loved the previews and hate the movie.
You scream at the screen, “Something move me!”
before you start to fade away.

Give me all your fear, Throw it all away.
and think about the good things, no matter what they say,
we’ll take tomorrow baby, yeah,
one day at a time.

You just stare into space,
you found love but it got erased,
you’re on the road with all the stoplights,
and you’re too afraid to turn the wrong from right.
You ate your soul and it made ya fat,
starve yourself from everything else that makes you completely full.
So give me all your fear, throw it all away.
Think about the good things, no matter what they say.
We’ll take tomorrow baby, yeah,
one day at a time.

So you run, so you hide,
and you watched as they die,
they all fell, you could fall too,
or you could sew your wings and try to fly right through.

Give me all your fear, throw it all away.
Think about the good things, no matter what they say.
We’ll take tomorrow baby, yeah,
One day at a time.
One day at a time.

I moved out of our home on Thanksgiving 2009 and spent the rest of the holiday season hiding from my family in the security of my bedroom. That New Year’s Eve, I turned down all invitations and stayed home in bed, pretending the holiday did not exist. I knew I would find happiness again, but I needed to mourn the sharp turn my life had just taken.

By 2010, I was ringing in New Year’s Eve alone again. By choice again. But under very different circumstances. I about six months into my relationship with Frank, but he had received a job offer for the evening that we decided was too good to pass up. So I stayed home and worked on a project. I can’t help it- I’m a workaholic and hate holidays where you have to fake being cheery just because some tradition says you should. I also don’t drink and prefer to be in bed early to avoid my chronic fatigue from acting up. But that’s a whole other blog.

The point is, on New Year’s Eve 2009, I never would have expected to be at the point in my life I was when New Year’s Eve 2010 hit. I took everything one day at a time. I set goals, worked towards them and by focusing on myself, everything began to fall into place. I found a new job, made new friends and was struck by cupid when I least expected it.

For those of you just beginning the divorce process, the New Year can induce anxiety attacks and make sadness strike. When that happens, just think of this song!

Let’s all make 2012 our best year yet! I have a great feeling about it!

All smiles to ring in 2012!