Valentine’s Day Cliché
February 15, 2012 by Joelle
Filed under Joelle's Blog
I always thought of Valentine’s Day as a Hallmark holiday for people to publicly show off that they are in love and for singles to feel sad. I felt like a loser in high school when everyone was getting flowers from their boyfriends and I was eternally single. Luckily, as soon as I entered college, my dating luck changed and I was introduced to romance (which all disappeared after I married my ex-husband!)
I’m not a materialistic girl. I prefer homemade, creative gifts over jewels or lavish displays of affection. I’d much rather friends and family spend their money in a meaningful way for my birthday or holidays, like sponsoring an endangered tiger or donating to an animal shelter.
My boyfriend Frank and I keep things simple. We went to dinner last night only because Frank wanted the night off from cooking (my culinary skills are frightening!). When you’re in love, every day is special. I don’t think you should need a holiday to tell you that you need to show each other how much you care. Frank surprises me all the time with my favorite foods just because he wants to. One night, he made me a plate of fresh strawberries dipped in Nutella, truffle oil, whipped cream, etc and told me it was a dessert of the senses.
When Frank brought me home purple roses yesterday, I asked if he special ordered them because that’s my new color obsession. I literally have purple glasses, cell phone case and jacket! But he told me it’s because he researched and discovered that purple is the color of passion. How romantic!
My ex-husband refused to buy me flowers- even though he knows how much I loved them- because they would just end up dying. Instead, he bought me practical gifts for holidays, like a GPS. Granted, I have no sense of direction and get lost driving even with a GPS, but when you’re in a relationship, it’s nice to show the other person that you love them by surprising them with flowers and a card (which btw my ex-husband never gave me through our entire relationship, either). On the other hand, Frank gave me my favorite brand of cards. They each have quotes on them and I’m collecting to one day frame and decorate the walls of our new home.
I’m so happy I removed myself from a passionless, unhappy marriage. It allowed me to find someone who loves me back with all his heart. That is worth all the fears and stress of starting life over from scratch. A world of new beginnings awaits.
Speaking of which, I know of a couple that got engaged yesterday. The guy proposed in the middle of a mall. I’m not a fan of holiday or public proposals. What are your thoughts?
I don’t think time (as in holiday or no holiday) or place (public or private) matters as much as how much thought is put into proposing. My ex didn’t put much thought into it, blew the surprise of it ahead of time and then didn’t even have anything special to say eith or in the proposal itself. And he didn’t get down on his knee, not that such a cliche tradition is really all that important or necessary. But, hindsight is 20-20 and it really is telling when combined with everything.